Dear Fellow 20-Somethings,
One day you’re 17 and sending transcripts off to colleges, the impending graduation of high school making you wonder what the future holds, hoping required courses and a nudge towards independence will lead you to a concrete career choice and a set path. Next thing you know, you’re fresh out of college, suffering through endless job applications and the stress of entering the real world. Maybe the first few years roll by and you’re still searching for the answer to what qualifies as a career versus a job in your little book. Life isn’t always clear-cut, and sometimes things take a bit of time.
If you feel like you don’t have your life figured out at the present moment: IT’S OKAY.
Breathe. You will realize what you’re supposed to do and who you are meant to be.
I would describe myself as a dabbler. Since I was a little girl I adored writing and art, but I found myself drawn to different subjects – I loved film and American history, pondered a career path in psychology, and wondered what it would be like to specialize in journalism, or maybe screenwriting. I also thought about Zoology, and looked over applications for a variety of wildlife conservation organizations across the country and abroad. For a (short) time in high school I even considered going into law.
At 23, I’ve worked for a small film production company in NYC, a job I enjoyed but felt didn’t fully fit what I’d like to do. I’ve spent the past few months working as a full-time artist, which has been incredibly rewarding on a personal level, but it’s temporary. Neither has felt like my “future,” something I can see myself doing day in and day out for the rest of my life. Some days I wake up and I see peers ‘making it’ at my age or even younger, who seem to have a clear path and a way to get there – and I’m kind of envious. It makes me wonder what I’m doing wrong. How do they have it all figured out? Why aren’t I there too? I still don’t know exactly what I want to be or what I want to do.
I’ll be honest with you, I go through ups and downs. Sometimes I feel like I’m finally figuring myself out, and other days I feel more lost than ever. At the start of 2017, I made the conscious decision to devote this year to focusing on myself and reaching, first, a level of self-awareness that I haven’t been at before. Four months in, it’s been eye-opening, but I won’t say I don’t have my doubts every now and then. Some days are harder than others. Uncertainty can be a strange, scary thing. But at the end of every day I sit in bed, pet my dog, and tell myself to trust the process.
It is one of the grand problems of this day and age that we feel the need to compare our lives to the lives of others. With the intense presence of social media on all of our lives, it’s harder than ever to escape the happenings and achievements of our peers, comparing what we have to where they are. It is much easier to say ‘stop comparing yourself to others,’ than to actually go through with it. So know this:
You are not measured by the successes of your peers, by how much money they make on their first gig out of college versus the starting salary of the job you hold now, by how nice their first apartment is while you’re still living at home with your parents, or by how young they are when they get engaged when you find yourself alone and debating the pro’s and con’s of the online dating world.
Your life is your own – move at your own pace. Don’t be afraid to dabble and take time to figure out what will make you happy at the end of the day. You’ll get there. The journey is all part of the experience. You’ll make mistakes, you’ll learn, and everything will lead you toward where you need to go. It might not always play out the way you’ve pictured it in your head, but I guarantee if you work hard, stay humble, and trust yourself, you will look back one day and be grateful.
Start slowly. Take each day with a grain of salt. Make goals and work toward them – and don’t allow yourself to give up if they seem just out of reach. Find what it is that makes you tick, what excites you, and what makes your eyes light up when you talk about it with your friends. Allow your interests to ebb and flow. It’s natural to crave change. Don’t limit yourself to what you’re told is ‘right,’ and follow what makes you feel.
You can do whatever you set your mind to.
You’re entitled to your dreams.
You will be found.
emilyschumann 